Mothers worry about one-child's unique problems

    By Xiao Fang (Shanghai Star)
    Updated: 2006-11-04 15:22

    There is a saying in China that a woman will not have a complete life if she never bears a child, as she will miss a unique life experience.

    However, if she wants a baby,and if the one-child policy did not apply, the question is how many children she wants?

    "If I had enough time and a more comfortable life, I would like to have at least two children," said Xu Sha.

    The government official claimed she felt sorry for her 12- year-old son who has been growing up like a lonely bird.

    "Unlike our generation, my son, along with other children in their generation, never had a chance to experience sisterhood or brotherhood, and never had someone else to share their happiness.The biggest problem they confront is loneliness. Because of this, I wish I could have two children, so my son could have company," the 41-year-old said.

    A newspaper editor surnamed Yao insisted she would have only one child.

    "If I had too many children to bring up, I would not have enough time not only to develop my own career but also to enjoy my own life," the 42-year-old explained.

    But in the opinion of Ni Meigen,besides loneliness, the one child generation seems to be selfish and lazy to a degree.

    "I have been very aware of the fact that they, as the only child in the family, don't know how to care about other people,and always think about themselves first," the 59-year-old restaurant manager said. "They have had no lack of love since they were born. Things come easily to them, which leads them to believe that they are the cores of their families. Many of them are still mummies' boys, even after they get married. I doubt they could have a happy marriage as they expect their spouses to do a lot for them rather than doing it themselves," she added.

    But Yao disagreed with Ni's opinion,

    "I don't think selfishness is the unique disadvantage of the one child generation, it applies to other generations also. But the reason why it has become apparent among the one child generation is because parents care about them too much, in a few words, it's the parents' fault," she argued.

    "One way to improve the situation is to encourage only children to have a collective life, living in a student hall for instance, at least it will enable them to learn how to be tolerant and get on well with others," said Xu.

    "What parents should do is to make them happy. I don't mean to give them material pleasure at this point. Just don't give them very high expectations, and let them understand that study is not the only way to survive successfully in a society. It will be a relief to both sides," she added.



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