Conspiracy theories of all sorts are already flying about the Wild Blue Yonder, and indignant netizens are suggesting all sorts of punishment for those responsible.

Some theories are more believable than others, but sadly, most revolve around plots of political power and gain and a total disregard for human lives. In this case, it is the lives of the 239 people on board that plane, including the chief suspect.

Many years ago, as I pondered the puzzle of the age of violent turbulence that shook China in the '60s and '70s, my husband had told me that the Chinese lived in a culture of no regrets.

It is how this country has survived suffering and hardship, he said, and it is how the people have been molded into a resilient mass that is hard to put down.

I agree about the resilience, but I also see the scabs and scars. Burying the wound and allowing it to fester destroys the spirit and sears the soul. It also warps humanity.

We have to learn to grieve fully, and after the sorrow is spent, we have to learn to let go.

There was a recent report on a proposal for China to formally commemorate the Nanjing Massacre and the War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression (1937-45). My first reaction was incomprehension.

Related: Heading abroad for greener pastures

Fear and loathing up the mile-high club

Future hazy as we count the cost of warp-speed growth

For more Chinese Whispers, please click here.