為什么商業(yè)信件一定要寫(xiě)得清楚明了？怎樣才能將商業(yè)信件寫(xiě)得清楚明了？看似簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)題，卻不是每個(gè)人都能做好。今天我們就來(lái)學(xué)習(xí)一下怎樣將商業(yè)信件寫(xiě)得清楚明了。
Being Clear: Why Do It
Look at the first sentence from the letter
again.
I refer to your
recent communication.
Why is this sentence unclear?
Which recent communication is the writer referring
to?
Does the writer mean the communication received
yesterday, last week or last month?
And what type of communication is the writer referring
to?
Does the writer mean a telephone conversation, a letter
or an e-mail?
The writer used vague terms, that is, very general words.
Therefore, the sentences are not very clear. The writer should mention the date
of the communication as well as the type of communication.
Look at the second sentence from the letter... and try to
decide why it isn't clear.
For your information please
be advised that the PPS details and application were sent to you at an earlier
date.
Again, the writer is vague, isn't he? "An earlier date"
could be last week, last month or even last year.
However, there is another problem.
Did you also notice that the writer used jargon? He wrote
about PPS.
HSBC staff may understand that the writer was referring
to HSBC's Phone Payment Service.
But what about the readers... the customers? Do they know
what PPS means?
To the readers or customers, PPS is
jargon.
Being Clear: How To Do It
Whenever you write to a colleague or customer, your
reader should not have to guess what you mean.
So, you need to make all of your sentences very clear.
How can you do this?
To write clear sentences
l
use specific
terms, not vague terms, eg exact date, type of communication
etc
l
avoid jargon,
ie abbreviations or special words that the reader may not understand.
The first strategy, then, is...
BE SPECIFIC
The sentence below is not clear. The writer has used
vague terms.
"Please contact me as soon
as possible."
How would you revise the sentence to make it
clear?
Suggested answer:
"Please telephone me on 2398
4150 by Friday."
You can also be specific by being direct. This means that
you write what you would say if you were speaking with the person
face-to-face.
The sentence below is unclear. The writer is being very
indirect. Some writers think that they need to use two "languages": one for
writing and another one for speaking.
"It is with regret that I
advise you that circumstances prevented me from completing this project within
the agreed time."
How would you revise this sentence to make it clear?
(Hint: think of what you would say if you were speaking with the person
face-to-face.)
Suggested answer:
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't
complete the project on time."
What else can you do to write clear
sentences?
You can avoid using jargon, right? This is the second
strategy.
AVOID JARGON
Look at the sentence below. The writer has used
jargon.
"May I suggest that you
apply for a POD?"
How would you revise this sentence to make it clear?
Suggested sentence:
"May I suggest that you
apply for a Personal Overdraft?"
The exercise below will help you practise revising
sentences to make them clear.
All of the sentences below are unclear. Rewrite the
sentences to make them clear.
1) I suggest that you apply for a PIL.
I suggest that you apply for a Personal Instalment
Loan.
2) The managers will discuss your proposal in due course.
The managers will discuss your proposal on Friday.
3) Please remit the relevant amount as soon as possible.
Please send your cheque for US$40 by 21 June 200X.
4) You can deposit cheques at designated ATMs.
You can deposit cheques at designated Automatic Teller
Machines.
5) One of our CSOs will contact you later.
One of our Customer Service Officers will contact you
within 24 hours.
You should now know how to revise sentences to make them
clear.
Try to revise the unclear sentences in Clever Man's
letter.
|
22 April 200X
Ms Fiona Green
100 Clearwater Bay
Road
Sai Kung NT
Dear Ms Green
PPS
I refer to your recent
communication.
For your information
please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to
you at an earlier date.
If you complete and return the form to us, we can
process your application immediately.
Thank you for your kind
attention.
Yours sincerely
Clever Man
Clever Man
Manager
Smart Branch |
|
Suggested sentences:
I refer to your telephone enquiry
yesterday.
For your information please be advised that the
Phone Payment Service (PPS) details and application form were sent to you
on 20 April. |
By using specific terms and avoiding jargon, the first
two paragraphs are now clearer.
But...
Something is still wrong with the second sentence. Do you
know what it is?
Look at the sentence again. Try to read the whole
sentence aloud without stopping to take a breath.
"For your information please be advised
that the Phone Payment Service (PPS) details and application form were sent to
you on 20 April."
Did you have to stop in the middle of the sentence to
take a breath?
For most people, the sentence is just too long to read
aloud in one breath.
If you write a long sentence, you create a problem for
your readers. They may need to read the sentence several times in order to
understand it.
So, your sentences must not only be clear, they also must be concise.
（來(lái)源：中國(guó)物流論壇
實(shí)習(xí)生江巍
英語(yǔ)點(diǎn)津
Annabel 編輯）
我要學(xué)習(xí)更多商務(wù)英語(yǔ)
