10. Persuasive proclamations about God. “I feel blessed to be alive on this glorious day, and I owe it all to God. Make God your only Savior and you will never be sad.”

對(duì)神的感人告白：“能活得這么好都是有您的庇佑，我的一切都?xì)w于上帝。若將上帝作為你唯一救星，永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)悲傷。”

Analysis: Religious people need to spend more time in church and less time on Facebook.

分析：如果你信宗教就多花點(diǎn)時(shí)間去教堂，花少點(diǎn)時(shí)間在Facebook上。

11. Updates about how much they drink and how excited they are to be drinking: "LOL...it’s only 8:30 and look at us!! We’re already drunk!! LOL!"

喝了多少酒，喝了酒以后多么興奮：“LOL……才8：30看看咱爺們！！爺們兒已經(jīng)醉啦！！LOL!”

Analysis: “I’m having fun. I swear. I'm not an alcoholic. I just don't know any other way of self-proclaiming my sense of being cool.”

分析：“我挺開(kāi)心，真的。我不是酒鬼，只是我不知道還有什么別的方法表達(dá)我現(xiàn)在超爽的感覺(jué)了。”

12. Updates of mundane activities written as though they are jokes: “I had to stop and get gas and then wait an hour for a prescription. Then I lost my keys and couldn’t get back in my car. Hahaha.”

憋個(gè)段子寫(xiě)些稀松平常的事情：“停車(chē)加油，又等了一個(gè)小時(shí)拿到處方。結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)我把車(chē)鑰匙丟了，現(xiàn)在車(chē)也進(jìn)不去。哈哈哈。”

Analysis: “It’s funny, right? Please say it’s funny.”

分析：“好笑嘛，嗯？請(qǐng)你告訴我哪好笑。”

13. Updates written as though the page-bearer never had an English class, not even in elementary school. “OK I went to the OMG the swag thing u know I ran into that girl my friends cousin and she LOL had a gold ring in her nose and she says hey u biggie I swear I almost loosed it right their hahahaha but she knew I had to go to”

好像從沒(méi)上過(guò)語(yǔ)言課，小學(xué)都沒(méi)上過(guò)的那種：“OK，我們?nèi)チ耍琌MG，看那個(gè)晃來(lái)晃去的東西，跑過(guò)去那姑涼我朋友表弟，LOL，她鼻子上長(zhǎng)了個(gè)房環(huán)，還說(shuō)嘿大家伙你好啊，我發(fā)誓我快用光了，現(xiàn)在他們的，哈哈哈哈哈，不過(guò)她很酷就是了，我得走了。”

Analysis: They failed English but finally found a way to express incomprehensible thoughts.

分析：這些人語(yǔ)言不過(guò)關(guān)，不過(guò)也算找到一種表達(dá)他們猜不透的想法的方法。

14. Quoted clichés from various thinkers: “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” –Unknown.

引用各種哲人的話：“愛(ài)過(guò)又失去總比從未愛(ài)過(guò)要好。”——未知哲人

Analysis: "I can’t think of anything amazing to say while I comfort myself, and I can’t find my iPod to quote some Lady Gaga."

分析：“我想安慰自己，但我又說(shuō)不出很牛逼的話，我手頭沒(méi)有iPod，Lady Gaga說(shuō)過(guò)的名言我也沒(méi)法引用。”