男人絕對不能對女人說的八句話

“Have you lost weight?”
No.6 “你減肥了嗎?”

“When a guy says this, or 'Wow, you look slimmer!' my blood starts to boil because, nope, I'm the exact same weight I was yesterday. I resist the urge to grab a marker, pants this doofus, circle all his fat and instead say, 'I haven't lost any weight. But you've lost any chance of going home with me.' The only way this dude can recover is by full-on admitting he was just trying to be nice and didn't know what else to say because I'm always looking great. But seriously, don't comment on a woman's weight, ever!”
-Marianne Schaberg, writer and comedian
“如果有個男人說，‘哇，你看起來變瘦了！’那我簡直就要怒發沖冠了，因為我的體重跟昨天差不多。我拼命壓住想抓起一支馬克筆把這蠢貨身上的脂肪都圈出來的沖動，說：‘我并沒有變瘦。但是你已經失去和我做朋友的機會了。’唯一挽救的辦法就是，這家伙要誠心誠意地承認，他只是想說點好聽的，但是不知道該說些別的什么，因為我一直都很美。不過，說真的，不要評論一個女人的體重，永遠不要！”
——作家、喜劇演員瑪麗安·史嘉伯

"Wow, I didn't recognize you with makeup on."
No.7 “哇，你化了妝我都認不出來了。”

“It drives me nuts when I wear makeup and a man says to me, ‘Oh my god, I didn't recognize you! You're so pretty.’ This is the ultimate backhanded compliment. I don't wear make-up at my day job because I don't consider all of life a show. A simple 'You look very pretty today,' is fine. Beyond that, we're not that close, so please keep your comments to yourself. I don't tell you when your bald spot looks extra shiny, don't tell me when I'm looking tired or fat or thin. I have a mirror. Believe me, I know.”
-Corinne Fisher, comedian, New York City
“要是我化了妝，一個男人對我說: ‘我的天，我都認不出你了！你真美。’那我絕對要氣炸。這純粹是挖苦。我白天工作時不化妝，因為我不認為整個人生是一場戲。他只要簡單地說：‘你今天真漂亮’就很好。別的話就算了，因為我們的關系并沒有那么近。所以，不要亂說話。我不會告訴你今天你的禿頭有多亮，所以你也別告訴我我看起來很累或是胖了瘦了，我自己有鏡子。相信我，我自己知道的。”
——喜劇演員科琳·費希爾，來自紐約

“Can’t you take a joke?”
No.8 “怎么就這么開不起玩笑？”

“Sometimes when men find out I perform stand-up comedy, they think that gives them permission to 'fake-insult' me. When I don't laugh, they ask, ‘Can't you take a joke?' to which I say, 'Can't you tell a joke?' Enjoying humor isn't a green light for reciting every sexist joke your uncle told the family at Thanksgiving dinner.”
-Carolyn Busa, host of "Side Ponytail" in Williamsburg, Brooklyn
“有時候當男人發現我是個單口相聲演員時，他們就會認為自己有權拿我開涮。如果我不賠笑，他們就會問：‘怎么就這么開不起玩笑？’我說：‘你就不能自己來個笑話？’看滑稽表演并不意味著你可以把你叔叔在感恩節家庭聚餐時說的黃色笑話搬到這里來。”
——布魯克林區威廉斯堡市節目《側馬尾》主持人卡洛琳·布薩

英文來源：mensfitness
譯者：葉霜艷
審校&編輯：丹妮