開會那些事兒：亂寫亂畫假裝很忙

Bullet points, question marks, underlining and a couple of impressive looking equations.
著重號，問號，下劃線，還有其他幾個令人印象深刻的方程式。

These are the methods used by one cheeky office worker to appear engaged in front of his boss during a mundane meeting.
這就是一位調皮的員工用來在常見的會議上在老板面前假裝很忙的方法。

The bored employee uploaded a copy of the hilarious handwritten notes he took during a conference to Reddit on Wednesday so others could learn how simple it is to fool you employer into thinking you're a productive member of staff.
周三，這位覺得開會很無聊的員工將自己在某次會議期間手寫的一份非常好笑的筆記上傳到Reddit網站上，以便讓大家學一下騙老板以為你效率很高有多簡單。

'Pretend to pay attention and look like you’re writing important things even though it’s all BS,' he scrawled on a note pad.
他在記事本上潦草地寫道：“假裝在注意聽講，看上去你在寫啥重要的東西，其實啥也不是。”

'Indentation and bullet points are always a nice touch,' he added.
他補充道：“縮進和著重號是不錯的點綴?！?/p>

After sitting and listening for another ten minutes, the officer worker jotted down some numbers and equations so it appeared he was paying close attention.
又聽了十分鐘的會議內容后，這位員工草草記下了幾個數字和方程式，因此看上去他在開會時很專心。

He had several other pointers about how underlining, using question marks and drawing arrows made your notes look legitimate from afar.
他又提出了幾條建議，告訴大家劃線標注、使用問號、和畫箭頭如何能使你的會議記錄遠遠看上去合情合理。

His last piece of advice was to make sure you jam some writing into the margins to 'avoided having to fill up more than one page'.
他的最后一條建議是，在紙張邊緣處寫些字，免得還要另用一張。

'I can't wait until working in traditional offices are a thing of the past and working remotely from my bed becomes standard,' the man added.
他補充說：“非常盼望在傳統(tǒng)辦公室工作的時期成為過去，在家辦公成為新標準?！?/p>

Reddit users were quick to draw comparisons to their own 'waste of time' meetings, while others said the man should have used his time to be more productive.
Reddit網站用戶很快就將其和自己參加的“浪費時間”的會議作了對比。也有些人說這位員工應該更高效地利用時間。

'Seriously, I don't know how many "mandatory" meetings I have that are better suited to be email or on the company messenger,' one user wrote.
一位用戶寫道：“認真地講，我不知道我參加了多少‘強制’會議，而這些會議內容其實以電郵或者公司內部通訊工具發(fā)送會更好?！?/p>

'I did that once too! Wrote something like "just writing things down so it looks like I'm paying attention". I still have the notebook at work,' commented another.
“我也這么干過！寫一些類似于‘隨便寫寫，這樣看起來我在認真參會’的東西在紙上。我還保存有工作時的記事本”，另一位用戶評論道。

The writer of another note, obtained by Daily Mail Australia, appears to have taken the man's advice, using dot points to jot down what a waste of time his hour and a half meeting was.
《每日郵報》澳洲版還拿到了另一份會議記錄，寫下這份會議記錄的員工似乎已經采納了前文所述員工的建議，使用圓點記下了這個長達一個半小時的會議有多浪費時間。

'Projector not working – standard. Good start.'
“投影儀壞掉了，普遍情況，不錯的開始。”

'No one is listening to you mate.... bla bla bla,' he wrote.
“講話的這位，沒人在聽你說啥啊……吧啦吧啦吧啦”，他寫道。

He then took down the date of a quality audit with a short reminder to 'chuck a sickie' that day.
之后他記下了質量審核的日期，加了個簡短提醒，那天“請個病假”。

'That’s it. Great. 1.5 hours gone,' he wrote, marking the end of the meeting.
“就這樣，不錯，會開了1個半小時”，會議結束時他寫道。

The unidentified officer worker sat through another unbearable meeting on Thursday and compiled a sassy account of what was said after wasting some time while he waited for his boss to arrive. 這位身份不明的員工周四還耐著性子開完另一個讓人難以忍受的會議，寫下了一份活潑的會議記錄。等老板到會還耽誤了一會兒時間。

'Oh yeah, 10 minutes still waiting for directors to arrive.'
“噢耶，還有10分鐘主管才能來。”

'No worries, plenty of time, got nothing else to do,' he wrote.
“別擔心，時間足夠，沒啥可做的”，他寫道。

He slammed one man for his 'boring' contribution, asking 'how does this relate to my project?'
他還批評了一位在會上說的話“很無聊”的人，問道：“這和我的項目有啥關系？”

'Wow this guy is putting people to sleep. Seriously.' he said, adding that he was the only one in the meeting who bothered to take notes.
“噢這人把大家都催眠了，講真”，他寫道，他還補充說他是會上唯一一個不厭其煩地做記錄的人。

Vocabulary

jot down：草草記下，匆匆記下
sickie：一天的病假

英文來源：每日郵報
翻譯&編審：yaning