要在現(xiàn)代社會(huì)中生存并出人頭地，高情商往往比高智商更重要。高情商不僅能讓你職場得意，好友成群，還能幫你趨利避害，保持身心健康，擁有成功和幸福的人生。近日熱播的電視劇《我的前半生》中靳東飾演的賀涵就是個(gè)高情商的典型例子（當(dāng)然他也有高智商）。那么，高情商的人都有哪些表現(xiàn)呢？

電視劇《我的前半生》中靳東飾演的賀涵。圖片來自視覺中國?

不知你有沒有注意過，有時(shí)智商一般的人比高智商的人表現(xiàn)更出色？幾十年的研究表明，智商不再是成功的唯一要素，情商才是將成功人士與普通人區(qū)別開來的關(guān)鍵因素。

情商測試和培訓(xùn)機(jī)構(gòu)TalentSmart的創(chuàng)始人特拉維?布拉德伯里列出了一些具備高情商的明顯特征，歡迎對(duì)號(hào)入座。

擁有豐富的情感詞匯

People with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe themselves as simply feeling "bad," emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint whether they feel "irritable," "frustrated," "downtrodden," or "anxious."
高情商的人之所以可以掌控自身的情緒是因?yàn)樗麄兡芾斫膺@些情緒，并可以用豐富的情感詞匯來描述它們。當(dāng)許多人僅僅用簡單的詞匯例如“不好”來描述自身的情緒時(shí)，高情商的人能夠指出他們所感覺到的是“急躁”，“沮喪”，“壓抑”還是“不安”。

The more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.
你使用情感類詞匯越精確，就能越確切地了解自己內(nèi)心的情緒，這些情緒產(chǎn)生的原因以及應(yīng)對(duì)方法。 

對(duì)他人感到好奇

It doesn't matter if they're introverted or extroverted, emotionally intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ.
無論是內(nèi)向型還是外向型的人，高情商者都會(huì)對(duì)身邊的人感到好奇。這種好奇是源于同理心，是高情商的重要表現(xiàn)。

擁抱改變

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness.
高情商的人是靈活多變并能隨機(jī)應(yīng)變的。他們知道害怕改變會(huì)麻痹他們并極大地威脅他們的成功與幸福。 

不易動(dòng)怒

If you have a firm grasp of whom you are, it's difficult for someone to say or do something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin.
如果你對(duì)自己有充分的了解，他人的言語與舉動(dòng)是很難讓你動(dòng)怒的。高情商的人都很自信并且心胸開闊，所以臉皮也就不會(huì)那么薄。

懂得如何拒絕

Research shows that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression.
研究表明，如果你覺得開口說“不”越難，你就越有可能經(jīng)受更多的壓力，崩潰甚至沮喪。

Saying no is indeed a major self-control challenge for many people. When it's time to say no, emotionally intelligent people avoid phrases such as "I don’t think I can" or "I'm not certain." Saying no to a new commitment honors your existing commitments and gives you the opportunity to successfully fulfill them.
對(duì)于許多人來說，說“不”的確是一項(xiàng)對(duì)自控力的挑戰(zhàn)。當(dāng)該說“不”的時(shí)候，高情商的人會(huì)避免使用“我覺得我不行”或“我不確定”等這類的短語。對(duì)新的承諾說“不”會(huì)讓你遵守現(xiàn)有的承諾，并讓你有機(jī)會(huì)成功履行承諾。

不計(jì)較錯(cuò)誤

Emotionally intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting them.
高情商的人會(huì)和犯過的錯(cuò)誤保持距離，但也不會(huì)遺忘它們。

付出且不求回報(bào)

When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. For example, you might have an interesting conversation with someone about a book, and when you see them again a month later, you show up with the book in hand.
當(dāng)某人主動(dòng)送你東西，并不求回報(bào)時(shí)，會(huì)給你留下深刻印象。例如，你跟某人聊天時(shí)說起一本書，而且聊得很開心，一個(gè)月后再見到這個(gè)人時(shí)，你就帶著書出現(xiàn)了。

Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about others.
高情商的人會(huì)與他人建立良好的人際關(guān)系，因?yàn)樗麄冸S時(shí)隨地都在為他人著想。

不記仇

The negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time.
帶有仇恨的負(fù)面情緒實(shí)際上是一種壓力反應(yīng)。當(dāng)威脅即將來臨的時(shí)候，這種反應(yīng)對(duì)你的生存至關(guān)重要。但當(dāng)威脅已經(jīng)遠(yuǎn)離的時(shí)候，你仍背負(fù)壓力的話會(huì)傷害身體，長此以往，對(duì)身體健康也會(huì)造成損害。

In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs.
事實(shí)上，艾默理大學(xué)的研究員指出，背負(fù)壓力會(huì)導(dǎo)致高血壓和心臟病。心懷仇怨意味著背負(fù)壓力，而高情商的人懂得無論如何都要避免這些傷害。

中和消極人群

Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check.
與難相處的人打交道會(huì)令大多數(shù)人感到沮喪和疲憊。但高情商的人在和消極人群的交流過程中能克制自己的情緒。

They identify their own emotions and don't allow anger or frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person's standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground.
高情商的人能清楚辨別自己的情緒，避免發(fā)怒和沮喪以免火上澆油。同時(shí)他們也能考慮難相處的人的立場并能夠找出雙方的共同話題和相處之道。

Even when things completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.
甚至在事態(tài)已完全失控時(shí)，高情商的人對(duì)消極人群的觀點(diǎn)也會(huì)持保留態(tài)度，不會(huì)讓他或她影響自己的心態(tài)。

不苛求完美

Emotionally intelligent people won't set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn't exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible.
高情商的人不會(huì)把完美當(dāng)成自己追逐的目標(biāo)，因?yàn)樗麄冎劳昝朗遣淮嬖诘摹７稿e(cuò)是人類的本性。

When perfection is your goal, you're always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you've achieved and what you will accomplish in the future.
當(dāng)你追求完美時(shí)，你總是會(huì)受到挫敗感的困擾，這種挫敗感會(huì)讓你放棄或減少努力。最后你只會(huì)把時(shí)間都浪費(fèi)在哀嘆那些沒能做成和本應(yīng)做好的事情上，而不是繼續(xù)前進(jìn)，并對(duì)自己做成的事情和未來將要實(shí)現(xiàn)的事情而感到興奮。

斷開連接

Taking regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of stressors.
高情商的又一表現(xiàn)就是學(xué)會(huì)定期斷開連接，因?yàn)檫@將有助于你控制壓力并活在當(dāng)下。如果你每周七天、每天24小時(shí)隨時(shí)準(zhǔn)備迎接工作，你將讓自己遭受壓力的持續(xù)轟炸。

不讓任何人影響到你的好心情

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they've done, they won't let anyone's opinions or snide remarks take that away from them.
當(dāng)你的快樂和滿足感源自他人對(duì)你的評(píng)價(jià)時(shí)，你就不再是能掌控自身幸福的主人了。高情商的人對(duì)自己所做的事感覺良好，不會(huì)輕易受他人觀點(diǎn)或尖刻評(píng)論的影響。

While it's impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don't have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people's opinions with a grain of salt.
雖然你不可能對(duì)他人的評(píng)價(jià)充耳不聞，但是你不必拿自己和其他人作比較，而且你可以對(duì)他人的觀點(diǎn)持保留態(tài)度。

That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.
這樣的話，無論別人想什么或做什么，都無所謂，因?yàn)槟愕淖晕覂r(jià)值感源于內(nèi)心。

這么一看，賀涵還真是滿足了高情商幾乎所有的條件，他可以搞定難搞的人，不易動(dòng)怒，可以輕松地控制自己的情緒，不會(huì)讓別人的評(píng)價(jià)影響自己的良好感覺，永遠(yuǎn)向前看，隨時(shí)準(zhǔn)備接納改變，難怪他在劇中要風(fēng)得風(fēng)要雨得雨。

那么，看完了此文，你認(rèn)為自己情商高嗎？

英文來源：赫芬頓郵報(bào)
翻譯：趙曉睿（中國日?qǐng)?bào)網(wǎng)愛新聞iNews譯者）
編審：丹妮