聽(tīng)說(shuō)“煤氣燈效應(yīng)”（the Gaslight Effect）已經(jīng)成了描述一種有毒情感關(guān)系的新名詞……

它是怎么來(lái)的，到底指的是哪種情況呢？今天，雙語(yǔ)君（微信ID：Chinadaily_Mobile）就給你好好科普下。

這一切還得從一部經(jīng)典影片說(shuō)起……

1944年經(jīng)典黑色懸疑片《煤氣燈下》（Gaslight）改編自帕特里克·漢密爾頓1938年創(chuàng)作的劇本，首次將“煤氣燈效應(yīng)”（the Gaslight Effect）的概念引入人們的視線(xiàn)。

電影由查爾斯·博耶（Charles Boyer）和英格麗·褒曼（Ingrid Bergman）主演，疑云密布，環(huán)環(huán)相扣，講述了丈夫?yàn)榱酥\取妻子的財(cái)產(chǎn)，千方百計(jì)把妻子逼瘋的故事。

《煤氣燈下》（Gaslight）劇照

劇中，妻子看到了微弱的煤氣燈光，丈夫卻一直否認(rèn)，說(shuō)她看錯(cuò)了。妻子單純地愛(ài)著丈夫，對(duì)其深信不疑，久而久之就確信自己真的哪里出了毛病。直到遇到了一位警察，警察說(shuō)他也看到了微弱的煤氣燈光。

美國(guó)心理學(xué)家Robin Stern受到電影的啟發(fā)，結(jié)合20年的臨床經(jīng)驗(yàn)，寫(xiě)出了轟動(dòng)一時(shí)的書(shū)——《煤氣燈效應(yīng)：遠(yuǎn)離情感暴力和操縱狂》。

US-based author of The Gaslight Effect, Dr Robin Stern, outlined the insidious nature of gaslighting, writing: 'It's a form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognise and even harder to break free from.'
《煤氣燈效應(yīng)》的美國(guó)作者Robin Stern博士概述了“煤氣燈”陰險(xiǎn)的本質(zhì)，寫(xiě)道：“這是一種難以識(shí)別的情感虐待和操縱，甚至更難以擺脫。”

insidious adj. 陰險(xiǎn)的

后來(lái)“煤氣燈效應(yīng)”就被廣泛的用于指代這種情感虐待（emotional abuse）。

The term describes a type of emotional abuse, and unlike other forms, is difficult to recognise because it distorts a person's sense of reality.
這個(gè)詞描述的是一種情感虐待，和其它虐待形式不同，這種情感虐待很難識(shí)別，因?yàn)樗で艘粋€(gè)人對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)的認(rèn)知。

看似是電影的虛構(gòu)情節(jié)，然而現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中很多人都深受其害，其中大多數(shù)是女性。

許多人遭到家庭暴力卻一次又一次地原諒對(duì)方，不去捍衛(wèi)自己的權(quán)利，正是這種效應(yīng)在作怪。

身處在一段“煤氣燈效應(yīng)”作怪的關(guān)系中，會(huì)給人帶來(lái)非常大的負(fù)面影響。

來(lái)看《每日郵報(bào)》的報(bào)道：

At its mildest, gaslighting leaves women uneasy, wondering why they always seem to end up in the wrong.
煤氣燈效應(yīng)輕則讓女人感到不安，奇怪自己為什么總是做錯(cuò)。

At it's worst, gaslighting leads to major depression, with formerly strong, vibrant women reduced to abject misery and self-hatred.
重則導(dǎo)致嚴(yán)重抑郁，使得原本強(qiáng)大活潑的女性變得自憐自艾并且自我憎恨。

一段好的戀情可以讓人擁有好心情，彼此成就，一起攜手前行。而一段壞的戀情，卻會(huì)讓人悲觀、消極甚至抑郁，好好的小可愛(ài)就變成“不可愛(ài)”了。

下面，雙語(yǔ)君（微信ID：Chinadaily_Mobile）再給你介紹幾種有毒的情感狀態(tài)，大家千萬(wàn)要小心了！

①

Ghosting
神秘消失

It can happen when you've met up a few times, or even after things get serious - but constitutes when someone literally removes you from their life, without warning.
這種情況多見(jiàn)于你們見(jiàn)過(guò)幾次面，甚至關(guān)系變得更認(rèn)真的時(shí)候，你卻突然被移除在對(duì)方生活外了，毫無(wú)征兆。

②

Slow Fade
逐漸隱匿

This is where someone gradually backs away from a potential relationship, but doesn't cut all ties immediately.
在這種情況下，他會(huì)逐漸放棄一段潛在的關(guān)系，但不會(huì)立即斷絕所有的聯(lián)系。

③

Breadcrumbing
撒面包屑

This is when someone leaves a trail of small but flirtatious messages for a potential date, with no intention of meeting.
這種情況是指某人給潛在的約會(huì)對(duì)象發(fā)了一串短卻撩的信息，但沒(méi)有任何要見(jiàn)面的意思。

Taking its name from the classic tale of Hansel and Gretel, breadcrumbing involves leading someone on with a trail of flirtatious messages but never following through.
面包屑這個(gè)名字源于經(jīng)典童話(huà)故事《韓塞爾與葛雷特》（Hansel and Gretel），這里指的是一方用一系列曖昧信息讓另一方產(chǎn)生戀愛(ài)錯(cuò)覺(jué)，但是從不進(jìn)行后續(xù)發(fā)展。

④

Benching
備胎

Before couples have 'the talk' and define their relationship - also known by the acronym 'DTR' - either party is at risk of being 'benched'.
在雙方挑明、確定關(guān)系之前（DTR），雙方都可能是對(duì)方的“備胎”。

This happens when one person is unsure of their future with their current partner and so puts them on the 'bench' - as with sports team reserves - and looks at other options. If nothing better comes along, they might come back into play.
當(dāng)一個(gè)人不確定要和目前的伴侶共度未來(lái)時(shí)，可能就會(huì)去尋找新目標(biāo)，而將現(xiàn)任視為“備胎”，仿佛是體育隊(duì)伍里的候補(bǔ)隊(duì)員。而如果沒(méi)有更好的選擇，他們還是會(huì)回歸現(xiàn)狀。

⑤

Zombie-ing
僵尸回歸

This is when someone has already ghosted his or her way out of a relationship - but then tries to come back.
某人已經(jīng)放棄這段關(guān)系，卻又想吃回頭草。

Social media has also opened up a new playing field for zombies, who can now 'like', 'comment' or 'follow' their way back onto their target's radar.
社交媒體也給這些要吃回頭草的人打開(kāi)了新世界的大門(mén)，他們可以通過(guò)“點(diǎn)贊”、“評(píng)論”和“關(guān)注”重回對(duì)方視線(xiàn)。

?

Layby
路邊停車(chē)

'Layby' refers to someone who is in a relationship but looking to get out. Instead of risking a period of singleness when it eventually ends, a layby starts laying the groundwork with other women or men who they might want to date next.
“路邊停車(chē)”指的是對(duì)方雖然還在跟你談戀愛(ài)，但是已經(jīng)在想著分手了。這種人在分手以后不會(huì)有空窗期，因?yàn)樗麄円呀?jīng)想好了下一個(gè)可能的約會(huì)對(duì)象，并且為此著手準(zhǔn)備了。

Those being pursued by a layby should be wary as he or she might well have a number of 'next' options lined up - not to mention the fact that they are not technically single.
要是被這種人追求，你可就要當(dāng)心了，因?yàn)樗苡锌赡芡瑫r(shí)追求很多人，更別說(shuō)他可能還沒(méi)真正單身。

?

Catch and release
撩完就跑

On the other end of the spectrum is the dater who practises the 'catch and release'.
另一種極品約會(huì)者就是那些一追到手就把對(duì)方甩了的人。

This is a move favoured by those who enjoys the 'chase' part of a relationship, the first flirtations before any commitments are made.
有的人在一段關(guān)系中最享受“追逐”的體驗(yàn)，也就是在作出任何實(shí)質(zhì)性承諾之前的曖昧調(diào)情。

看完了上面介紹的幾種有毒的情感關(guān)系，你想想自己有沒(méi)有被套路過(guò)？

祝所有的小伙伴都能擦亮眼睛，不被套路，尋得真愛(ài)！

編輯：唐曉敏
實(shí)習(xí)生：吳雨浛
來(lái)源：中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)雙語(yǔ)新聞