Many foreigners hell-bent on mastering Mandarin pull an Icarus, trying to fly too high too fast and crashing.

Upon getting lost in the vastness of the language, which seems to grow with their proficiencies, they retreat to familiar territory - and stay there.

If Chinese people understand everything you're saying, that's terrific - and terrible. The good news is that you've reached a certain putonghua level; the bad part is that you're staying there.

I was delighted the first time I traveled with an all-Chinese group and everyone understood me. Then, I realized I was relying on the same stock phrases.

A Chinese friend suggested I try some new words, and the head scratching began. Nobody had a clue what I was talking about - or trying to talk about, actually.

I wasn't feeling so delighted anymore. But leaving the tiny island that was my linguistic comfort zone meant that I eventually charted new territory within the Chinese language Still, when I spend too much time outside my comfort zone, I start to feel really bad about my Chinese and itch to withdraw to familiar territory.

That's when my wife tells me that all foreigners speak great Mandarin. Her idea is that we should all periodically take a moment to feel good about our Chinese.

Those who take a break from bemoaning their pathetic putonghua will find it actually helps them stay the course. There's no light at the end of the tunnel that is Mandarin, so we'll all always be in the dark to some extent.

We must love and hate our wonderful, horrible Chinese.

So if you know any Mandarin at all, take a moment - right now's good - to pat yourself on the back for your putonghua progress.

You can use that same hand to beat yourself up over it later.