One day, I was exhausted from staying up late to beat deadline. I rushed home after my shift to sleep.

Xing Li was outside my door. I tried to create an apology by flipping through my dictionary and explain I desperately needed Zs.

She nodded and produced a pink plastic basin, in which she proceeded to wash my clothes by hand.

I knew this was atypical. I had a washing machine, as she knew, too.

But all I could do about anything at that point was slumber.

About a month into my China experience, I also became close to a woman who spoke excellent English.

In the second month, she encountered Xing Li outside my room. It seemed difficult not to.

They spoke, but it of course made no sense to me.

Exploring identities

Weakness for beauty

Joanna, the English-speaker, explained that Xing Li said she and I had been dating since we met.

This was shocking news.

We'd not only been totally platonic but also had hardly formed a paragraph of contiguous conversation!

I realized I needed to terminate this relationship that never was on my part and always had been on hers.

This was going to be awkward - even more so than my recent life as a foreigner plunged into a relatively strange new land.

But it had to be done.

Fortunately, Xing Li did it for me.

She arrived the following day with a note explaining she had to return to her hometown. Immediately.

That meant I was off the hook in ending this romance that had never actually started.

She hugged me and walked out the door.

I sighed in relief and never saw her again.

erik_nilsson@chinadaily.com.cn