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Want to fight me? Man bags at 10 paces

By Patrick Whiteley (China Daily)
Updated: 2009-06-08 10:20

I have owned the much-talked-about Chinese man-bag for more than a month and can't live without it. When one first gazes at the smaller "man bags", they appear to look exactly like ladies' purses, and it is startling to seeing adult males carrying them around in one hand, like my mother does.

So does this mean I am gay?

The most reputable, wisest and soundest minds in the land have thoroughly counseled me and insist there is no link between man bags and sexual orientation, but according to the unofficial macho-man's code of conduct, which has been ingrained into my psyche at a very early age, men should not be caught dead carrying anything that resembles their aunt's carry thing.

At football games, we insulted players by shouting: "Why don't you hit back with your handbag?" When I was 12, I thought that was terribly funny. "Handbags at 10 paces," was another insult aimed at less-than masculine types.

If only I could see myself 30 years later as a man bag man.

The man bag name itself is a bit of a joke and was obviously conjured up by those same marketing shysters, who were able to sell "perfume" to men under the guise of "aftershave".

But before critics start bagging the man bag, they have to admit they are extremely practical.

A fellow's trouser pockets can carry only so much, and now I can haul my mobile phone, iPod, keys, money, business cards, notepad, pens and my beloved bananas.

Man bag knockers may laugh, but try carrying a banana in your pocket and see what reaction you'll get on the streets.

There are two types of man bags, the small hand carry types and the map case-style bags with straps, which were carried around by soldiers in the wars and had a cyanide capsule sewn into the lining in case they were captured.

When I first witnessed smartly-dressed, middle-aged Chinese men carrying those small, purse-like bags I was somewhat shocked. There is another group of Chinese men which also fancies these types of bags and tends to wear the latest Nike tracksuits, gold chains and spiky crew cuts.

I'm told the man bag trend is relatively new in China, and has only been around 10 years, as China's economy took off. I see a lot of fellows strutting around the local driving range sporting this new accessory.

Even soccer sensation Ronaldo (pictured) has picked up the little man bag trend, but does carry it under his arm, like a religious man clutching his Bible on his way to church.

One of the real benefits of a man bag is security. A thief can approach a backpack wearer from behind, snip the strap and run away with the loot.

Not with the man bag! When confronted by a thief, I have a numb-chucker like weapon at my disposal.

And man, oh! man, my man bag certainly can pack a punch.