Yao, T-Mac play it for laughs on Kimmel's show
(Houston Chronicle)Updated: 2006-12-20 15:38
Brown returns to go over the questions Kimmel will ask. There are 19, but in a seven-minute segment, no one expects Kimmel to get through that many.
Kimmel stops in to say hello and thanks. He looks psyched. The exchange is short and a bit awkward.
"I see they ordered Chinese food," Kimmel says, looking at the spread between McGrady and Yao.
McGrady has eaten only some fruit, Yao chicken wings.
"Is it anything like in China?" Kimmel says.
"Not even close," Yao says as the room fills with laughter loud and long.
One of the questions kills in the practice run. Asked about American food, Yao shares his distaste for turkey and talks of his first Thanksgiving, when he might as well have been eating cardboard.
McGrady takes it to a discussion of Yao's taste for Chinese chicken feet.
"We cook it good," Yao says.
Brown, worried Kimmel would get the one-word answers he had, looks relieved and pleased.
Kimmel's monologue goes well. The first two bits don't, with Kimmel saying the second is "the stupidest thing I've ever seen."
Says McGrady: "Well, there won't be many viewers watching us."
The next bit, The Year in Unnecessary Censorship, has the room roaring. Yao, who never has seen the show, is rolling back on the green room couch. McGrady is laughing loud.
"Four minutes," they are told.
Then they are taken backstage.
"Let's go, Poppy!" McGrady shouts to Yao. "Let's get this over with, Poppy!"
Kimmel introduces them as having a lot in common. Both are Rockets, both are All-Stars, and both are Chinese. The crowd roars as they hit the stage. Yao doesn't smile, which always concerns his Team Yao agents and management people, but does wave.
But within a few moments, Yao is laughing hardest.
Kimmel asks if they go out together. McGrady says Yao stays in and plays video games but has a girlfriend, then says he wasn't supposed to reveal that. Kimmel asks if Yao will go to the All-Star Weekend party that McGrady is throwing with P. Diddy.
"What will happen there?" Yao asks McGrady. "Oh, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."
The crowd whoops with that one.
Kimmel is quick, jumping in when things slow even a tad with jokes about Yao's still living with his parents. McGrady helps when Yao can't find an answer or didn't hear the question. (Yao is almost completely deaf in his left ear.)
McGrady repeats Yao's Brokeback Mountain joke with mock horror. The audience is thrilled. And moments later, the segment is over, with the band, in a nod to Houston, sending Yao and McGrady off to ZZ Top riffs.
Back in the limousine, they know they did well. Talk is louder and faster, at least for a few minutes, as in a post-victory locker room.
They were not paid, other than a gift box of chocolates both left in the green room. Including the drive back, it took three hours to do a seven-minute television appearance. But both seem pleased.
"Let's go, Poppy!" McGrady shouts. "Let's go!"
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