久久久无码人妻精品无码_6080YYY午夜理论片中无码_性无码专区_无码人妻品一区二区三区精99

US EUROPE AFRICA ASIA 中文
China / Hot Issues

Marital discord no longer just a family affair in China

By Zhou Wenting (China Daily) Updated: 2016-09-20 07:08

 Marital discord no longer just a family affair in China

Marriage counselor Wang Wenjuan (far right) explains to clients how to properly handle the relationship between mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws at a counseling service center affiliated with the local women's federation in Hefei, Anhui province in East China. Xie Chen / For China Daily

With divorce on the rise, marriage counselors say they are helping more couples find their way through troubled waters, as Zhou Wenting reports from Shanghai.

In recent months, marriage guidance counselor Shi Xiuxiong has found his workload increasing to such an extent that he now foregoes the traditional lunch, opting instead for a quick sandwich in the face of a deluge of clients seeking professional help.

The founder of the Good Catch Love Counseling Work-shop in Shanghai, which specializes in providing assistance with relationship issues, is not alone. Many marriage counsel-ors have reported a noticeable rise in the number of couples approaching them for advice.

Figures from the Ministry of Civil Affairs show that last year, 3.84 million couples ended their relationships, a rise from 2.87 million in 2011.

Marital discord no longer just a family affair in China

The trend is most obvious in China's largest cities. Last year, the number of couples in Beijing untying the knot rose to nearly 56,000, from about 32,000 in 2010.In Shanghai, the figure peaked at 60,400 in 2013.

"Marriage counseling is relatively new in China. People only come to us when their marriages are on the verge of splitting up," said Shi, who founded the workshop in 2012. Counseling experts said extramarital affairs, personal differences and fractious relations with parents-in-law are the difficulties most frequently encountered by couples. Despite that, they said, the purpose of marriage counseling is not to salvage the relationship at all costs.

"As counselors, we stay neutral and open, and will never advise a couple to stay together or break up. That is a decision for them alone. Our role is to help them to see themselves and their most pressing needs more clearly, and to help them to figure out whether what they're doing is consistent with their ultimate goal," said Lin Zi, vice-chairman of the Shanghai Psychological Counseling Association and founder of a psychological consultancy that bears her name.

The neutral approach to marital and relationship advice is the one Shi, from the Good Catch Love Counseling Workshop in Shanghai, has also adopted: "We search for the best way for both members of a couple, and won't automatically assume that marriage is better than a divorce."

Generally, Shi's clients are aged 30 to 35, and have been married for less than five years. They are well-educated and highly-paid, and the ratio of women to men is 7-to-3. "The person who comes to us is usually the one who has identified that there is a problem and wants to save the relationship," he said.

For clients of counselors such as Shi, the guidance process usually involves three to eight sessions, each lasting one or two hours and costing about 800 yuan ($120) per hour.

"It's better if a couple attends together because it allows us to see clearly how they communicate with each other, figure out the problems and then fix them," Shi said.

Marital discord no longer just a family affair in China

He said he is always encouraged to see a couple having disputes and disagreements during counseling sessions because it shows that they still care about the relationship: "The biggest problems occur when one or both partners remain silent. That silence indicates that they hope I will advise them to give up."

Extramarital affairs

The majority of counselors believe that extramarital affairs are the most common problem among couples.

Shu Xin, director of the Weiqing Group, an agency based in Shanghai that provides counseling services in more than 40 cities nationwide, said that roughly 80 percent of his clients sought help after discovering that their partner had had an affair. When Shu established the agency in 2001, the number of people seeking advice was between 10 and 20 a day, but the figure has now soared to more than 200.

Improved transportation and the development and rapid spread of communications platforms means it is easier than ever to have an affair, according to counselors, who believe the frequent exposure of related behavior by well-known figures in the entertainment industry is making the public less confident about marriage.

In mid-August, movie star Wang Baoqiang filed for divorce on the grounds that his wife was having an affair with his agent. Meanwhile, 10 days later, rumors spread online that the wife of Zhang Jizhong, one of China's most prominent television producers, was sexually involved with his godson, movie director Xiao Qi, even though no evidence had been produced and neither party had commented publicly about the situation.

Marital discord no longer just a family affair in China

Lin Zi, vice-chairman of the Shanghai Psychological Counseling Association, partly attributed the high incidence of extramarital affairs to the public's "excessive focus" on the pursuit of wealth in the past two decades as China's economy boomed.

"After working hard all day, people don't want to talk much at home. That may lead to anxiety and suspicion among partners and growing conflict between them if the situation persists. When a person has low satisfaction in their family life, they want to make up for it in other ways," she said.

However, when someone who has cheated on their spouse opts for professional advice, the counselor will not necessarily drag them back to the family. Instead, they will observe and assess the client's real needs.

"Everybody needs to feel safe, valued, intimate and stable in a relationship. I help them to compare the two options to see which better satisfies their needs. The costs, both financial and emotional, are much lower," Shi said.

Dealing with differences

The lack of an appropriate way of dealing with differences between couples is another major problem, according to counselors, who said every person has different needs and an important task in marriage is to seek common ground while putting aside minor differences and disagreements.

Moreover, every couple copes with differences in their own way, so counselors prefer both partners to participate in the sessions so they can see how they talk with each other and help them to improve their communication skills.

Lin said she often asks a couple to swap roles and explain how their other half usually responds to certain situations. Then they articulate what they really expect their other half to say in such circumstances.

"Through this process, they often find that what they are used to saying actually hurts their spouse a lot, and that such communication is ineffective and aggravates the problem," she said.

In Lin's experience, the role-playing process reveals to the couple that problems mostly arise from differences in personality, but that doesn't mean their love has come to an end - a common perception when marital tensions surface.

"We listen to their stories of the environment and family they grew up in, and discover where their behavior originated," Shi said. As an example, he explained that he has often noticed that men who say little in times of conflict usually grew up with quarrelsome parents where the father avoided engaging with the issue by remaining silent.

"The role-playing process allows the wife to understand that her husband's silence doesn't mean 'he doesn't love me anymore' or 'he doesn't care about our family'. He was taught to cope with conflict in this way by what he saw and heard during childhood," he said.

"Through counseling, we want to intensify such awareness, so people enter marriage with all their experiences, background and history fully known, which will help them better understand their partner and their relationship so they will learn to treat their partner in the way that person prefers."

Marital discord no longer just a family affair in China

People line up at the divorce registration office in Shanghai's Xuhui district last month. Zhang Ruiqi / For China Daily

Highlights
Hot Topics

...
久久久无码人妻精品无码_6080YYY午夜理论片中无码_性无码专区_无码人妻品一区二区三区精99

    午夜免费看视频| 黄色a级片免费| 熟妇人妻va精品中文字幕 | 久久久久久久香蕉| 波多结衣在线观看| 国产白丝袜美女久久久久| 日本黄色福利视频| 国语对白做受xxxxx在线中国| 日韩精品第1页| 亚洲视频一二三四| av网站在线观看不卡| 日韩亚洲欧美一区二区| 污污网站在线观看视频| av免费中文字幕| www.成年人视频| 经典三级在线视频| 色婷婷成人在线| 国产h视频在线播放| 潘金莲一级淫片aaaaa免费看| 我要看一级黄色大片| 波多野结衣50连登视频| 男人天堂av片| 四虎精品欧美一区二区免费| 热久久久久久久久| 午夜久久久精品| 国产天堂在线播放| 人妻精品无码一区二区三区 | 在线观看高清免费视频| 人妻少妇被粗大爽9797pw| 和岳每晚弄的高潮嗷嗷叫视频| 可以免费看的黄色网址| 欧美激情第3页| 中文字幕av不卡在线| 亚洲综合在线网站| 免费黄色特级片| 欧美黄色免费影院| 日韩在线视频在线观看| 国产在线精品91| 成人免费aaa| 男人天堂1024| 18岁网站在线观看| 不卡影院一区二区| 国产精品免费成人| 一本久道综合色婷婷五月| avav在线看| aⅴ在线免费观看| 黑森林福利视频导航| 精品久久久久久无码国产| 男人透女人免费视频| 欧美午夜性生活| 五月婷婷激情久久| 加勒比av中文字幕| 黄色www在线观看| 中文字幕第50页| 国产精品一色哟哟| 久久久999免费视频| 欧美激情国产精品日韩| 999精品视频在线| 精品综合久久久久| 在线观看成人免费| 全黄性性激高免费视频| 国产黄视频在线| 午夜免费一区二区| 五月天婷婷影视| 男同互操gay射视频在线看| 大西瓜av在线| 任你操这里只有精品| 污污网站免费观看| 欧美a级黄色大片| a级黄色小视频| 成人中文字幕av| 日本成人xxx| 免费看欧美黑人毛片| 日日摸天天爽天天爽视频| 亚洲18在线看污www麻豆| 日韩欧美国产片| 91 视频免费观看| 麻豆md0077饥渴少妇| www精品久久| 妺妺窝人体色www在线观看| 亚洲高清视频免费| 国产一二三在线视频| 男女视频一区二区三区| 2025韩国大尺度电影| 99精品在线免费视频| 激情婷婷综合网| 欧美中文字幕在线观看视频| 久久久国内精品| 亚洲精品少妇一区二区| 免费超爽大片黄| 天天干在线影院| 欧美精品无码一区二区三区| 欧美大尺度做爰床戏| 国产 欧美 日本| 好男人www社区| 亚洲色婷婷久久精品av蜜桃| 成人久久久久久久久| 搡的我好爽在线观看免费视频| 99久久久精品视频| 美女少妇一区二区| 亚洲国产精品无码av| 五月天中文字幕在线| 东北少妇不带套对白| 日本人69视频| av日韩一区二区三区| 91福利免费观看| 免费观看国产精品视频| 99精品999| 免费在线观看毛片网站| 日韩不卡一二区| 好男人www社区| 青青在线免费观看| 一区二区三区国产好的精华液| 欧美二区在线视频| 蜜臀在线免费观看| 中文字幕av不卡在线| 欧美三级在线观看视频| 欧美日韩视频免费在线观看| 国产精彩免费视频| 隔壁人妻偷人bd中字| 九九久久久久久| 99久久激情视频| 日本福利视频一区| 四虎免费在线观看视频| wwwwwxxxx日本| 亚洲人成无码www久久久| 男的插女的下面视频| 最新视频 - x88av| 亚欧激情乱码久久久久久久久| 91好吊色国产欧美日韩在线| 免费的一级黄色片| 亚洲综合123| www.久久91| 无码内射中文字幕岛国片| 国产黄页在线观看| 97干在线视频| 成年人深夜视频| 成人污网站在线观看| 亚洲第一天堂久久| 一级黄色录像在线观看| 无码人妻精品一区二区三区66| 亚洲中文字幕无码专区| 人人妻人人做人人爽| 免费看欧美黑人毛片| 男人天堂新网址| 狠狠精品干练久久久无码中文字幕| 天天av天天操| 一个色综合久久| 欧美一级xxxx| 亚洲小视频网站| 亚洲一二三av| 538任你躁在线精品免费| 亚洲天堂av线| 午夜免费高清视频| 午夜免费福利在线| 三年中国国语在线播放免费| 国产激情在线观看视频| 中文字幕第80页| 亚洲欧美国产日韩综合| 三上悠亚在线一区| 在线免费看v片| 国产精品美女在线播放| 手机看片日韩国产| www成人免费| 波多野结衣综合网| 能在线观看的av| 国产激情在线观看视频| av丝袜天堂网| 成人综合久久网| 免费观看中文字幕| www.日本在线视频| 青青草国产精品视频| 成人三级视频在线播放| 91视频免费版污| 播放灌醉水嫩大学生国内精品| 日本久久久精品视频| 污片在线免费看| 樱花草www在线| 免费特级黄色片| 97在线播放视频| 免费一区二区三区在线观看| 国产日韩视频在线播放| 欧美午夜性视频| 国产精品wwwww| 色噜噜狠狠一区二区三区狼国成人| 妞干网这里只有精品| 午夜精品久久久久久久无码| 国产三级三级三级看三级| 日韩视频在线观看一区二区三区| 日本xxxxx18| 黄色免费视频大全| 亚洲欧美日韩三级| 污污污污污污www网站免费| 国产肥臀一区二区福利视频| 伊人影院综合在线| 999一区二区三区| 777av视频| 男人的天堂最新网址| 成人黄色大片网站| 三级在线视频观看|