At about 3 a.m., a guy was drunk as a skunk. He came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, he cuckooed nine more times, hoping his wife would think it was midnight.

He was very proud of himself.

The next day, his wife asked what time he got home, and he replied, "Midnight, just like I said."

She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When he asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'Crap!,' cuckooed one more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling."

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