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坐在我那輛開了二十多年的舊車里，兒子無比艷羨地看著身旁那些疾馳而過的卡瑪洛、克爾維特和雷克薩斯……當然還有他的最愛：福特野馬。

By Robert Klose

秦婳 選注

My 14-year-old son, Anton, is as enamored of cars – especially new and flashy ones – as any boy.[1] Whenever we’re out driving, he rubbernecks continuously as he spots Camaros, Corvettes, Lexuses (Lexi?) and the car of his dreams – the Ford Mustang.[2] These sightings are accompanied by the most impassioned commentaries (“Did you see that, Dad? The new Audi A6 – zero to 60 in 5.9![3]”).

“Yes, yes,” I nod. “I see it.” This is as much enthusiasm as I can muster[4], because I am as interested in new cars as I am in the various grades of sand. The tragedy for my son, however, is that we are meandering along in my 1987 Dodge Raider, a big red box of a car that is as aerodynamic as a cinder block.[5] My Raider can also go from zero to 60 in 5.9 seconds, but it has to be an exceptionally steep downhill grade[6].

My son is at an age when he is embarrassed by many things: our house, my attempt to engage his friends in conversation, the food I cook, my taste for the thrift shop[7]. But topping the list is our car. Perhaps this is why he prefers to walk the mile to school, even in the most challenging weather. On one occasion I insisted on driving him in during a deluge[8]. He allowed this, but asked that I let him out about a block from the school so he could keep his dignity intact.

One day, in a quiet moment, Anton mustered the courage to ask, “Dad, why do you drive such an old car?”

I didn’t have to search very far and wide for an answer, because I knew my own heart in the matter. I explained my philosophy of what a car is. “Anton,” I said, “a car is something that gets us from Point A to Point B. What more do I need?” And then it occurred to me that I could better explicate[9] my answer in terms of what I don’t need.

“Anton,” I began, “I don’t need a car that talks to me or entertains me.

“I don’t need a car with a key that costs $250 to replace. (The very idea is an abomination[10].)

“I don’t need a car with remote access, or that beeps at me to assure me that it’s locked. (This is Maine, where I leave my keys in the ignition so that I always know where they are.)[11]

“I don’t need a video system that turns my car into a movie theater or tries to sell me things I don’t need and can’t afford to buy.

“I don’t need a car that is so complicated that I can’t change my own oil.

“I don’t need heated seats. (As a warm-blooded human being, my seat is naturally heated by my circulatory[12] system.)

“I don’t need a car with windshield wipers on the headlights.”[13]

In conclusion, I added, “With the Raider, I can see and get my hands on every part under the hood[14]. In fact, there’s so much room under there that I could rent living space out to a needy student. Do you understand?”

Anton had listened patiently to my sermon, which was clearly more than he had bargained for, and he sat there, perplexed.[15] Sullen[16] even. “Well,” he said, in a bid to recoup lost ground, “I don’t see why you have crank windows.”[17]

“That’s easy,” I replied. “If I ever drive off a bridge into the river I can roll the window down and escape. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

My son stared at me, looking absolutely vanquished[18]. In an attempt to be magnanimous[19], I suggested we go out for pizza. We climbed into the Raider, started the old car up, and bumped down the street. It was a bright day and the big red box ambled amiably along like an old, faithful dog.[20] Driving such a singular[21] vehicle, and living in a small town, friends and acquaintances waved to us along the way, and I waved back.

“See, Anton?” I remarked, “if this were a Lexus, nobody would notice us. Nobody would care.”

My son didn’t miss a beat. “If this were a Lexus,” he said, “we’d be going out for lobster[22].”

Vocabulary

1. be enamored of: 使傾心，使迷戀；flashy: 奢華的，俗艷的。

2. rubberneck: 〈美俚〉（好奇地）伸長脖子看或聽；Camaro（卡瑪洛）和Corvette（克爾維特）: 美國雪佛蘭公司旗下的分支品牌；Lexus: 雷克薩斯，日本豐田汽車的高端品牌；Ford Mustang: 福特野馬，是美國福特汽車公司旗下的跑車品牌。

3. 指新款奧迪A6從0加速到60邁，只需5.9秒。

4. muster: 聚集。

5. 然而我兒子的悲劇在于，我們正駕駛著我那輛1987年買的“道奇襲擊者”蜿蜒前行，這車外觀如同一個大紅盒子，體型類似一塊煤渣（空心）磚。aerodynamic: 流線型的。

6. steep downhill grade: 陡峭的下坡路。

7. thrift shop: 舊貨店，二手店。

8. deluge: 大雨，暴雨。

9. explicate: 詳細地說明。

10. abomination: 令人憎惡的物或人。

11. beep: 發短促而尖利的聲音；Maine: 緬因州，美國東北角的州；ignition: （汽油引擎的）打火裝置。

12. circulatory: （血液）循環的。

13. windshield wiper: 擋風玻璃前的刮水（雨）器；headlight: （汽車等的）前燈。

14. hood: 汽車發動機罩。

15. sermon: 布道，說教；bargain for: 講價，談判；perplexed: 困惑的，糊涂的。

16. sullen: 悶悶不樂的。

17. “嗯，”他說——努力想“收復失地”，“那我不明白你的車窗為什么是松動的？”recoup: 重獲（失去的東西）。

18. vanquished: 被征服的，被戰勝的。

19. magnanimous: 大度的，有雅量的。

20. amble: 漫步，緩行；amiably: 和藹地，好脾氣地。

21. singular: 突出的，非凡的。

22. lobster: 龍蝦。

（來源：英語學習雜志）