研究：走出分手陰影僅需11周

HOW TO GET OVER A SHOCK BREAK-UP

如何走出分手陰影

If you find yourself suddenly alone, don't despair. Relationship expert and self help guru Dr Pam Spurr gives her tips for healing the heartache...

如果你突然覺得孤獨，不要失望，戀愛專家和自助專家帕姆·斯普爾（Pam Spurr）博士給出了治療心痛的意見：

1. Don't blame yourself

不要自責

Remind yourself regularly that the relationship ended because your partner had the problem with communicating, which was nothing to do with you. You were willing and able to talk about your problems but your partner couldn't deal with that... which is their loss.

經常提醒自己，你們關系的終結是由于對方不善于溝通，與你無關。你愿意與對方探討自己的問題，但他無力解決，這是他的損失。

2. Take up something new

找些新樂子

It's important that it's completely unrelated to your ex, and even better if it's something they didn't want you to do! So many people who've had these sort of break-ups keep doing the same things they did with their ex, which just increases their pain. Leave those things until much later, when the pain of the break-up has faded.

這些事必須與你的前任毫無關系，最好是他不愿讓你做的事！很多人分手后做著和從前一樣的事，這只會徒增痛苦，把那些事留到以后做吧，直到分手的痛苦消失。

3. Date for fun

為了開心去約會

Now's not the time to look for another meaningful relationship. Enjoy your friends, go out with interesting people, but put all thoughts of a replacement relationship out of your mind.

現在不是找新伴侶的時候，享受友誼，和有趣的人外出，但是不考慮尋找新的另一半。

4. Don't be a relationship bore

不要不停訴苦

Spend more time with your friends and family by all means, but try not to keep going over the break-up with them again and again. Much as they love you and want you to be happy, even they can't be expected to stick around if you're constantly going over the same ground. You need your friends, so don't scare them away!

多花些時間陪伴家人和朋友，不要一再訴說分手的痛苦。他們愛你，希望你開心，不想聽到你不停訴苦。你需要朋友，所以不要嚇走他們。

5. Work on your 'I don't care' attitude

保持“我不在乎”的態度

Even if you do still deeply care about your ex, with practise this will really help speed up your recovery. Focus on all the annoying things they used to do; try and decide what used to irritate you the most. Soon you'll be amazed to find you really don't care any more.

即使你很在意你的前任，“我不在乎”的態度也可以幫助你快速恢復。關注他們所做的一切惹人煩的事情，選擇一件最能激怒你的，很快你就會發現你不在乎。

（譯者：xinxin10 編輯：祝興媛）