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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

睡前的禱告

2008-08-18 09:58
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."

2008-08-15 09:25
A man and a woman were just divorced, on their way out of the courthouse they are both killed by a runaway bus. In heaven, they have 2nd thoughts about their divorce so they go to St. Peter and ask to be remarried. St. Peter said 'come back in 15 years!'

一共多少只雞？

2008-08-14 08:58
Two West Virginians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"

小孩的名字

2008-08-13 08:54
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?"

不會有事的

2008-08-12 08:54
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.

這個月啥都沒有

2008-08-11 08:53
John sees a friend at a table in a bar, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

我這是怎么了？

2008-08-08 08:37
A woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"

你吹牛吧！

2008-08-07 08:54
The little John taught his parrot to speak "follow me to say that I can walk."

好消息，壞消息

2008-08-06 08:56
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display.

我干得怎么樣

2008-08-05 09:03
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.

A phone call to FBI

2008-08-04 09:02
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is that FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling you to report my neighbor Tom, he is hiding marijuana in his firewood." "This will be noted."

爸爸會不高興的

2008-08-01 08:49
It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Willis!!" the farmer yelled, "Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up."

豬的時間

2007-07-25 08:27
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner.

三只強鼠

2007-07-26 08:33
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

沒聽懂的“睡眠藥”

2007-07-30 09:09
An exhausted looking blonde dragged herself into the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

還我安寧！

2007-08-02 08:50
"May I borrow your record player tonight?" a man asked his neighbor. "Sure. Do you want to listen to some music?" "No," he answered. "Tonight I want to have some peace and quiet."

突發奇想——老公和老婆的由來

2007-08-05 10:11
Why does a man want to have a WIFE?
Because ...Why does a woman want to have a HUSBAND ?

碎杯子的秘密

2007-08-08 11:04
A servant broke a cup. His master was very angry and asked, "How did you break it?"Do you really want to know?”

哪只鼠最牛？

2007-07-30 09:10
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

拳擊和賽跑

2007-08-09 17:57
Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I'm teaching my boy to fight."

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