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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

飛機場

2011-06-20 10:39
A stewardess wore a sparkling gold necklace, a plane model as a drop, looking unique and professional. Detecting that somebody around was looking at her, she asked gracefully: “Is it pretty?”

本科生和研究生的區別

2011-06-14 11:04
"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles.

在吃藥中度過余生

2011-06-13 10:35
A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said: "The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life."

亞當的衣服

2011-06-10 10:49
Johnny was looking at an old family Bible when something fell out. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a leaf that had been pressed in the pages. His mom came along and asked, "What do you have there Johnny?"

第一次約會

2011-06-09 13:59
A youngster asks a girl who comes to the date: "Is this your date with young man for the first time?"

浪費還是節約

2011-06-08 09:30
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don't you know you are wasting time?

不能讓他跑了

2011-06-07 10:29
The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

以“命”抵命

2011-06-03 13:46
“I agree,” said Savage, “that I owe my life to you, and to prove to you that I am not ungrateful for your work I will give my life to you.”

一個真正的男子漢

2011-06-02 09:28
Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

他曾發誓要死

2011-06-01 13:54
If you refuse to marry me, he swore, I shall die. She refused him. Sixty years later, he died.

一封神秘的信

2011-05-31 09:56
"It was perfumed. It was in a girl's handwriting. I saw you opened it, you broke into a sweat. You turned white. Your hands trembled...For goodness' sake, who was it from and what did it say?"

干凈的杯子

2011-05-30 10:23
"Yes, that's all right." Fred said. Then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, "And I want it in a clean glass! Don't forget that."

酒吧里的燈

2011-05-26 09:51
Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often, but he never took his son, Tom, because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday, Mr. Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time.

如此長的狗

2011-05-25 09:54
Once there was a blind man. One day when he was walking, he stepped on the head of a dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while.

體面的男友

2011-05-24 08:54
Mother to daughter: "What kind of person is your new boyfriend? Is he respectable?"

假裝結婚

2011-05-23 09:40
The woman leans out and, with a glint in her eye, says, "I have a better idea, just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

堅持不懈是一種美德

2011-05-19 13:19
One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.

搞不懂女人

2011-05-18 10:48
"I'll never understand women." Max said. "The other night my wife threw me a birthday party. She told me that later on, as her gift to me, I could do with her whatever I wanted."

不要停

2011-05-17 10:50
Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't. Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop.

年輕人的作家夢

2011-05-16 10:00
When asked to define "great", he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

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